Live, love and smile for tomorrow we go

Yes&Know By Aline Yamashita

Michelle emailed, “Love is real and warm no matter the weather.” She attached a gorgeous orange mini-hibiscus from their yard, reciprocating the flowers we'd shared when they were here. Michelle, Robert and Zach returned to their California home after spending time in Guam as we celebrated Mike Carlson’s first heavenly anniversary.

Landing in 50-degree weather after our 80-degree weather, they appreciated their jackets. Here, they enjoyed the family, the sunshine, the food, the laughter and the love.

Even as the ocean separates us, Michelle does a great job at keeping family love alive and in good shape. Every time my first cousin returns, it’s like she never left.

These days, maybe because of my age, death announcements are on every corner. When someone is ill, we mentally prepare. When someone dies unexpectedly, we pause.

I listen to the heartache of families as they cope with legal issues after burials. As we saw mom’s departure imminent, we did the legal work to transfer accounts and property. Emotionally difficult, for sure, but something we knew needed to be done. This eliminated the need for probate. which is a long, tedious journey through the court system.

In tandem with death knocking at your door is deciding where you want to be buried. Again, it sounds dismal, but better now than later. Plots are not always easy to find. Certainly, location and cost affect decisions.

We thought the crypt next to Dad's was Mom’s. It is not. We should have thought about that, but I think because dad’s death was so sudden and unexpected, we pushed mom’s death card far away. When we knew it was time, we scurried.

So, mom is not next to dad. But it’s okay. They’re together above.

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day this month, we should celebrate it every day. Sharing love is as simple as a gesture.

Writing a note is another issue. Across the nation, Cursive Clubs are springing up. Students want to learn how to write. Some of us recall the hours spent writing the letters in lined notebooks. I have always had awful penmanship, so I had to try hard. Today, with little use for handwriting, written words are often hard to decipher. Interestingly, my signature has morphed, and I now have to think carefully when signing my name so it isn’t questioned.

Opening a door. Saying please and thank you. Excuse me. Basic manners are appreciated but not always found. Give someone another minute to process what you are saying. Listen with kindness.

When one dies, we remember kindness and the special moments. We celebrate the goodness of the life of that person. We may recall the not-so-good times, but overall, happy, appreciated memories fill the void.

Celebrate love for your family and friends by sharing a joke. Cut flowers from your yard and surprise them. I use empty water bottles as vases. The flowers always bring a smile, which I truly appreciate.

Celebrate love for your family and friends by baking cookies. My son’s buddies enjoy brownie cookies, so I’ve become better at baking those. The time and effort that goes into baking is the real gift.

Walter shared some precious star apples. These are so hard to find, so I appreciate Walter delivering them with a smile. I enjoy them pickled. I pickled a few for Christine and Ryan and they shared them with her parents. Such a treat and they loved it.

When Eric’s co-workers wave and say hi, my heart smiles. Being acknowledged is a gift of kindness. We’ve come a long, long way. 

At mass, we nod and smile. We help collect the prayer cards. We let someone else go first. We open doors. We chat as we return to our cars. And we remember the goodness of our priests, particularly Pale’ Mike, who left us far too early.

So much goodness abounds. Make some goodness and spread it around. Love and laughter. Blessed Valentine’s Day! While we always have room for improvement, we have many good things to celebrate. And memories help us do that.

Aline Yamashita is a mom, a teacher and former senator. She served in the 31st and 32nd Guam Legislatures. Send feedback to aline4families@gmail.com.

Subscribe to

our monthly

digital edition