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Tall Tales
By Robert "Bob" Klitzkie


Letter to the editor: No denial of rights; 'The machine just isn’t built that way'
Complaining about “fundamental rights” and not being able to vote if you live here is like complaining to Harley Davidson that you can’t ri
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Nov 26, 2024


Crime doesn’t pay but bad behavior does
Two hundred grand is a lot of money. Rory Respicio, general manager of the Port Authority of Guam, will be forking over that sum to Frank...
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Nov 5, 2022


Render unto Caesar…
Jayne Flores, the director of the so called Bureau of Women’s Affairs, is all in for abortion but opposed to the doctrine of separation...
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Sep 8, 2022


What Leevin could have done
Attorney General Leevin Camacho marshaled enough judicial authority to employ the magic words, “void ab initio,” to deep-six PL 20-134,...
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Aug 5, 2022


Leaked! SCOTUS draft overruling the Insular Cases (April 1, 2023*)
PER CURIUM: In the flagship of the Insular Cases, Downes v. Bidwell, we held: “We are therefore of opinion that the island of Porto Rico...
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Jul 10, 2022


No, we didn’t get screwed out of SSI by the Supreme Court
In United States v. Vaello Madero, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a person living in Puerto Rico, a U.S. territory, was ineligible for...
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Jun 6, 2022


A fairytale about rugby and The Wokesters
Once upon a time a very special place called “Childhood” was inhabited by people called boys and girls. The people of Childhood played a...
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May 4, 2022


The horse whisperer, or rather the Wolff whisperer
Robert Redford starred in the eponymous 1998 film “The Horse Whisperer,” in which he played the title character. Guam doesn’t have a...
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Apr 3, 2022


Bro, Sunshine is the best disinfectant
“Bro, we will be having a motion hearing before the OPA on Dec 27th. Last day to file documents is on Dec 23. Would it be possible for...
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Mar 4, 2022


A 174-page ‘lawsuit’—cui bono?
What happens when the governor delegates authority to her consigliere, i.e., her legal advisor and son-in-law, to cut a deal with a hotel...
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Feb 8, 2022


Contriving a status option
In an earlier column, I answered the question, “Who’s working to decolonize Guam?” Nobody! No one is working to decolonize Guam. What...
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Jan 7, 2022


Everything you wanted to know about the papier-mâché commission but didn’t know whom to ask
Papier-mâché is a composite material consisting of paper pieces or pulp, sometimes reinforced with textiles, bound with an adhesive, such...
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Dec 8, 2021
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