Love and other addictions

Manila — Love, just like nicotine and other stuff that are inhaled, drunk, eaten or felt, can be addictive. And so scientists have said time and again that falling romantically in love or being in love with someone is a rarity because you don't get to fall in love a thousand times.

For many people, it can only be once in their lifetime. That is why when they do, they look at this person they fall in love with as the one who's the most important and most special in the entire world. For others, it can be more than once but the intensity of feelings don't measure up with the other. The rest of their other relationships, if they have more, are not called love.

Being or falling in love is something that you don't force on yourself or on another person. It is felt. It happens. You feel it. You become it.

The more dangerous thing that can happen, however, is if you become addicted to it. Behavior experts explain addiction to love simply as the longing or desiring the way you crave for your cigarette every 15 minutes or your daily fix of double espresso in the morning.

I won't pretend to be an expert but what I know about addiction to love is that more often, only one in the supposedly two-person relationship is totally into the other. It is not mutual.

Love addicts often fall for people who are not emotionally available for them, who do not reciprocate their feelings. It can be called unrequited love but sometimes, the person on the receiving end of the affection knows the love being directed on him or her bu