The 13th dessert
- Admin
- 3 minutes ago
- 4 min read
Bridgman, MI--In my previous column, I provided background on growing up without experiencing fine dining, especially desserts.
I explained how my experience with fine dining and the wonderful world of desserts began with a trip to the Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia while I was employed at Kettering Medical Center in the 1980s.
That Part 1 of this epic dessert story ended with me at the dinner table on the first evening of my second Greenbrier visit in the '90s as a participant in an executive retreat sponsored by Adventist Healthcare Mid-Atlantic, where I was promoted to vice president.
A colleague of mine, George Smotherman, the CFO of Washington Adventist Hospital, had gotten into an argument with me over whether I could eat all the desserts on the extensive Greenbrier Dinner Dessert Menu in one sitting. That evening, there were 11 desserts on the menu.
After considerable discussion, we reached an agreement. At the dinner the next evening, if I could eat all the desserts on the main dining room menu, I would receive $100 from George and his fellow conspirators. If I couldn't consume all the desserts on the menu in one sitting, I would pay $100 to these speculative investors.
Now, to start Part 2 of the story, the die had been cast for this wager to determine my abilities at consuming the entire Greenbrier dessert menu in one sitting. So I began my preparation.
This was before the days of Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut, of Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest fame, and I had no one to turn to for guidance or instruction on how best to prepare for such a daunting eating challenge.
Before retiring that eve of the big event, I planned my strategy. A normal breakfast of eggs, potatoes and fruit. A small lunch with no desserts. Then at dinner, a salad with a little fish to get something light into my stomach before the onslaught of sugar, carbohydrates, starches and more sugar.
On the morning of the big event, I decided to visit the dessert chefs, who would be preparing the evening's menu. My request was straightforward: please have mercy on me in terms of the dessert portions and the sizes of the individual items in the lineup for that night.
Unfortunately for me, my fierce competitor George had beaten me to the punch and already paid a visit to the kitchen in an attempt to influence the arbitrators who would determine the parameters of my test that evening.
By late afternoon, the official card (the Menu) for the upcoming festivities was published. It was not good news for me, as there were 13 desserts listed on the lineup for that evening's dinner scheduled for 6 p.m.
George gloated over the news that 13 delicacies faced me that evening, but I was not fazed by the size of the lineup card. However, I was stunned and discouraged by one item on the menu: a hazelnut torte. This one item would be my biggest obstacle in achieving victory this evening.
While I have never had any food allergies, the taste of hazelnuts makes me nauseous. I avoid Nutella like the plague, and when purchasing mixed nuts, I always make sure there are no hazelnuts.
The preliminaries included a salad and some fish, after which the main event followed.
By 6:45 p.m., a crowd began forming around our table. Not only were fellow participants in our AHS Retreat interested in this match, but word had spread throughout the dining area.
The entire staff of the Greenbrier was well aware of the interest this event had generated, and those who were able had joined the crowd to see whether I could achieve victory over such a daunting task.
The wait staff brought several trays to our table, each containing one of every dessert on the menu. After setting the hazelnut torte and Greenbrier peaches aside, I began systematically going through each dessert, one by one, in the order they had been placed on the trays.
First, there was a chocolate cake, followed by an English trifle, both of which were delicious. After the fourth dessert, a bread pudding, the usual euphoric feeling from eating sweets began to fade.
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By dessert No. 6, the crowd's applause grew with each completed item. The succeeding desserts, seven to 11, were eaten in perfunctory fashion, bringing neither pleasure nor pain on my part. I just focused on the finish line, as if I were running a marathon.
I saved the peaches with whipped cream for next-to-last as they were my favorite at the Greenbrier.
After systematically going through each of 12 desserts without any problem, victory was within grasp. However, I knew that last hazelnut torte would take every ounce of my being to get it down.
While there had been considerable cheering from the audience, a hush fell over the crowd as I seemed to be giving up when I hesitated to pull the remaining hazelnut torte toward me.
I whispered to George, explaining that the taste of hazelnut would make me sick. I begged for mercy and asked to be granted victory without hitting dessert No. 13. After all, consuming a dozen desserts was no small feat.
George looked at his fellow investors and then said forcefully: "Ted, a deal is a deal."
So I had no choice but to finish off the chunky torte or surrender in defeat. Mustering my courage, I managed to chow down every crumb of the distasteful torte without getting sick, focusing my mind on the prize that was within reach.
A standing ovation rang out in the dining room and George handed me a crisp $100.
The maître d' of the restaurant came over and shook my hand, telling me that to his knowledge, I was the first person to eat every dessert on their menu in one sitting.
Before leaving the Greenbrier that week, on the last day of our meetings, I was presented with a trophy by the System President, engraved with "Ted Lewis - Best Desserts."
To this day, whenever I see anything with hazelnuts, I can't help but think of that 13th dessert.
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