Cat-astrophic times

April 5, 2017

   Is there a palpable cloud of post-election trauma over a huge part of the American population?

 

   If reports are to be believed, this collective feeling has been spreading across the nation, Who knows how many liberals, POCs, immigrants, and members of the LGBTQ community have been affected?

 

   Trending online are topics about this perceived Trump-induced anxiety. A director, Sam Friedlander, even created a commercial for a fictional drug which he dubbed “Impeachara” that he said could be used to treat the symptoms of “Trump-Induced Anxiety Disorder” or TIAD, in short. The two-minute ad, featured in a People.com article, parodies the usual drug advertisements aired all over media, the ones were a list of symptoms and disclaimers are paraded toward the end.

 

   According to the ad, TIAD symptoms include “depression, hopelessness, and insomnia.” It also includes “yelling at one’s phone and the computer screen, and the “BLEEP urge to pull one’s hair.” The fictional drug works by “inhibiting neural and optical transmitters,” to create the illusion that Trump has been impeached.

 

   Depending on one’s position in the political spectrum, the ad, while humorous, brought to light this unnamed thing, which combines a lot of different emotions --- including fear and uncertainty. Unlike the Friedlander fictional ad, there are no happy drugs to take the afflicted away to some reality-bending alternative.

 

   But without Impeachara, what else is there to alleviate TIAD? Impose a personal rule to block out all things related to Trump? With the country teetering on the edge, this sounds like a bad idea. How about mask the deplorable stuff with cuteness overload? I’m talking about employing the power of kittens and cats to induce temporary distraction.

 

   So next time, an unpleasant imagery or story appears on the screen, restrain the urge to throw the device or punch the screen. Instead, install the “Make America Kittens Again” free application and wait for the magic to happen. Believe me, this is like catnip for humans.

 

   In a split second, any Trump imagery will be replaced by all types of feline furballs. You can also select from the president’s cabal of shadowy advisers. There is the Bannon or Pence version, even France’s Marine Le Pen or the Netherlands’ Geert Wilders can be replaced with kitties. See any pattern here? Kitties could be the perfect foil for anything. So take advantage of that pleasant wave of serotonins and other happy hormones before the next Tweet or story comes out, which could be as frequent as every few minutes.

 

   Seriously, cats have played a prominent part in Trump’s pre and post election timeline. Remember the allusions to some unwanted grabbing of some similarly named body part? Or Melania wearing a Gucci pussy bow after leakage of the cringe worthy audio footage? Now, barely starting his presidency, he is once again embroiled in a CAT-astrophic incident. This time, it involves a kitty-themed website.

 

   According to stories that has been spreading all over media, a budding 17-year old webmaster created a site called TrumpScratch. com (now KittenFeed.com) which has a feature allowing visitors to simply scratch Trump’s caricature.

 

   Because of this, the teenager reportedly received a “cease and desist letter” from Trump’s legal counsel. In response, the legal counsel refuted the claims, according to various media articles.

 

   

 

But should the story prove to be true, why spend legal resources just to shut down some cute website? Did the kitties pose a threat to national security

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